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How Golf Strengthens Me After Domestic Violence Trauma

Last summer, my husband bought me a brand new set of Callaway golf clubs from Costco, and we signed up to take classes together at a local community college. I even saved up some Amazon money and bought a cute pink golf bag!

Getting to this point, however, took years. While golf has been one of my favorite hobbies since childhood, it also became a trigger for me after leaving my abusive relationship. My ex and I used to play together, and thoughts about that chapter of my life resurfaced when I even just looked at a golf club. I left my set of clubs in another state and thought I'd never play again.

Fast forward to 2019. As I was preparing to create more blogs and vlogs about life after domestic violence, I challenged myself to overcome some lingering fears. After realizing that my husband liked to golf, I decided to start with that activity.

For an entire semester, my husband and I got up early on Friday mornings to make it to our 8am golf class. I'm not a morning person, but I really enjoyed rediscovering the sport I once loved. Since then, we've been golfing every week! In fact, one of our favorite memories from our recent trip to Hawaii was golfing in Maui at the Kaanapali Golf Resort (click here or on the picture below to watch my vlog from the golf course!).

Pushing myself to overcome a fear was the best thing I ever did. I now get excited about getting out on the course every week, and I'm even thinking about joining a local team! :)

So, how about you? Do you have anything in your life that you miss doing? Perhaps a fun hobby that got lost in 'domestic violence trauma zone'? I'd love to encourage you to think about that and maybe make a short list. For example, cooking, golfing and watching a live NBA basketball game were on the top of my list. After you make a list, you can put it aside if you're not ready to conquer any of them now. They're just there to remind you (when you're ready) of what you once loved and can cherish again. When the time is right, you may find yourself going back to that list and perhaps one thing will pop out at you. That one thing for me was golf. I'm still working on the other two.

There is something so empowering about reclaiming pieces of my lost self. I lost so much of my identity while I was allowing my abuser to harm me- emotionally, physically and psychologically. It took years to get back a lot of what makes me me. I'm still a work in progress, and some days are easier than others. But just knowing that I did something for myself meant the world to me. I am gaining control of my life again and learning to take one positive step after another, or in this case, one golf swing after another.

To see my more personal blogs and vlogs on my life after domestic violence, please join me at


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